From Chapter 8 Facing Suffering
No one lives free from suffering. You can’t avoid it – and if you do, it only gets worse. It’s best to confront with as much information as you can about the situation causing the suffering. Then, you are in a better position to resolve the suffering. (You are more prepared.)
Cutler asked, what about suffering in which there is no solution such as learning you are dying of cancer. The Dalai Lama’s response was that perhaps you will be in a better position to deal/cope with this sort of suffering if you give some thought to such unavoidable situations before they happen.
“Our attitude towards suffering becomes very important because it can affect how we cope with suffering when it arises. Now our usual attitude consists of an intense aversion and intolerance of our pain and suffering. However, if we can transform our attitude towards suffering, adopt an attitude that allows us greater tolerance of it, then this can do much to help counteract feelings of mental unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and discontent.” p 140
Cutler challenged the notion as a pessimistic view of life as one in which suffering is unavoidable. The Dalai Lama’s response is “the point that has to be borne in mind is that the reason why reflection on suffering is so important is because there is a possibility of a way out; there is an alternative. There is the possibility of freedom from suffering.” p. 142
The root causes of suffering are ignorance, craving and hatred. Ignorance in this sense refers to the misperception of the true nature of the self and all phenomena. By acknowledging the existence of craving and hatred – then eliminating them – one can achieve a liberated state free from suffering. The hope of such relief from suffering is what drives the path toward happiness. Otherwise, mere reflection on suffering becomes morbid and quite negative.
Reflections
The two previous posts were difficult for me to work through, but I think I’m getting a little closer to having answers to my questions. I’ll have to save them for a later though, as today’s post is about preparing oneself for suffering through acknowledgement that we are “bound” to suffer at some point. From the simple examples I gave last post to something a difficult as facing the prospect of aging and dying, we are going to suffer (or at least experience emotional pain).
What this section feels like for me is akin to developing a mental toughness or preparedness about the realities of life as a human being. Rather than seeing ourselves as victims of one sort of suffering or another, the acknowledgement that we will suffer SOMETHING is our reality. When the Dalai Lama speaks about the true nature of the self, I think this is what he means. Further, once we see that we will suffer from something – this something tends to comes from lacking what we crave or feeling hatred toward someone who has violated us or someone we care about. Here’s a brief list. What can you add?
Craving love
Craving belonging
Craving freedom
Craving acceptance
Craving adventure
Craving sex
Craving a good job/financial stability
Craving a new car
Craving connection
Craving warm weather
Some of these cravings seem to be NATURAL to humans while others are specific to conditioning. In any case, an unfulfilled craving causes some level of discomfort. Furthermore fulfilling some cravings is temporary and simply leads us to other cravings and discomfort. I don’t think we can eliminate these cravings entirely – in fact I’m sure of it, but I do see value in recognizing them as such, eliminating some and learning how to cope (mental toughness) with those we can eliminate to feel less pain when they are not fulfilled.
Hatred of an oppressor (notice I’m not saying hatred of oppression/the concept of oppression)
Hatred of a liar
Hatred of a killer
Hatred of a rapist
Hatred of a political leader
Hatred of a discriminator
Hatred of What else?
Hatred is a much stronger negative feeling. I have to admit I don’t think I’ve felt hatred. Anger perhaps, but not hatred. It’s easy to understand, though, how someone who has been oppressed can feel hatred toward an individual or group. But, it’s also easy to see how such hatred can cause suffering. Which would be worse – the actual oppression or the hatred of the oppressor? I think the Dalai Lama would say the feeling of hatred toward the oppressor would cause more suffering than the oppression itself. Remember being happy or unhappy has very little to do with absolute conditions, rather it is a function of how we perceive our situation. (p. 22 revisited)
Coming up next, Chapter 9 Self-Created Suffering.
