From Cutler’s Introduction: “…the single note he constantly sounded. It is one of hope. His hope is based on the belief that while attaining genuine and lasting happiness is not easy, it nevertheless can be done. Underlying all the Dalai Lama’s methods there is a set of basic beliefs that act as a substrate for all his actions: a belief in the fundamental gentleness and goodness of all human beings, a belief in the value of compassion, a belief in the policy of kindness, and a sense of commonality among all living creatures.
“The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness.” (p. 16)
“When we speak of this inner discipline, it can of course involve many things, many methods. But generally speaking, one begins by identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering. Having done this, one then sets about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness. This is the way.” (p. 15)
Happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events…being happy or unhappy has very little to do with absolute conditions, rather it is a function of how we perceive our situation, how satisfied we are with what we have. (p. 20-22)
We have a tendency to compare ourselves with others and notice what we don’t have (money, power, good relationships, beauty, a good job, etc.) rather than realizing things could be worse. He’s not actually suggesting we STOP comparing ourselves with others. Instead, begin by comparing yourself with those worse off than you and you will soon recognize thing could be worse.
The demarcation between a positive and a negative desire or action is not whether it gives you an immediate feeling of satisfaction but whether it ultimately results in positive or negative consequences.
Inner contentment is to want and appreciate what we have.
The true antidote of greed is contentment.
Momentary pleasure vs. long term happiness…Ask yourself: Will it bring me long term happiness?
Self-worth and dignity come from warmth and affection given to others because that (unlike material things) cannot be taken away from you.
Peace of mind is rooted in affection and compassion.
~~~~~~~
Reflections
The introduction above is jam packed with wonderful statements that could for some already be objectionable in one way or another, so let’s take a look. “The fundamental goodness and gentleness of ALL human beings”. What about Hitler? The book and the Dalia Lama provide an answer to such an objection using Stalin as the example instead of Hitler. If you want the full version you’ll have to read the book. Here’s my take. Whether you agree that ALL human beings are fundamentally good and gentle isn’t the point, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water (I’ve always wanted to say that). What if we accept the notion that most human beings are fundamentally good and gentle and if some are not, it’s a product of conditioning. That doesn’t mean we have to subject ourselves to these people on a regular basis by the way. But, when we do run into them – those folks who sure don’t seem good and gentle – perhaps we can remind ourselves, they came into this world the same way we did, then something happened. Even when we run into the good and gentle folks, we might just be in a bad mood, or we might feel threatened by something they say or do. The point is to step back and remind ourselves of the commonality between us…we are humans, we are good and try to respond with this in mind…
A belief in a policy of kindness. I dare you to find something wrong with that.
A sense of commonality among ALL living creatures. Ok, I have a LOT of friends who are animal lovers, I have a few friends who might buy into this notion of ALL living creatures. But many want to hold the line at HUMAN’s having commonality and the rest of those living creatures not so much. In my book, that’s ok too. A sense of commonality among Human beings works just fine for me.
The idea that the purpose of our very existence is to seek happiness is not original or solely attributed to the Buddhist tradition. Many philosophers, psychologists, neuroscientists and others have made arguments, done studies and found evidence that this is the case. You don’t have to agree in order to still want to be happy.
My point of mentioning these objections and then rather quickly dismissing them isn’t because I want to trivialize them, but I also don’t want to get bogged down in them. I want to glean what I can from what makes sense to me. I’m not wearing my philosopher hat, (well maybe just a little) instead I’m wearing my seeker hat…what can I find in this book to help me.
Regarding positive and negative consequences…again, this notion is nothing original or limited to Buddhism. In moral theory, Utilitarianism, specifically comes to mind, the consideration of consequences of actions is central to the ‘goodness’ of the action. And, you don’t have to be a philosopher to recall a parent saying think about the consequences of your actions. Further, the notion of long-term happiness vs. immediate satisfaction is something we’ve all likely encountered at some point. Examples (not specifically moral examples but relatable) might include the short term pain of going to the gym for the long term happiness associated with good health; giving up dessert; studying now to pass a test later, etc.
As with Utilitarianism, this theory of the path toward happiness incorporates something like this: if we agree that we all desire happiness (to the point that our entire existence is about pursuing happiness), then it’s best to pursue those desires/actions that will create/cause long term happiness for ourselves AND OTHERS. Why others? Why not just pursue long term happiness for ourselves? The answer gets a little more complicated, but I’ll give a brief summary. Since we also know and experience the fact that we need others to survive – yes there are a few who might be able to survive in the wilderness alone – we will always be engaging with others and they also want to be happy. Making them happy will ultimately make us happy and although making them happy might not immediately make us happy, ultimately in the long term, we will be happier if they are happy.
What then is the “best thing” we can do for others? Should we give them gifts of gold? Should we treat them to dinner? Sure. That’s ok too. But the main tenant of this theory is to give others compassion and kindness – even when we don’t feel like it. Self worth and dignity come not from material things because at any moment those things can go away. Self worth and dignity come from warmth and affection. I love that.
More tomorrow.
Affectionately, Trish
